Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Can we “save the Earth”?

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Unlike career related questions, which tend to be complex, this question is easily answered: No, we cannot save the Earth.

The Earth’s proximity to the Sun is essentially a “good news, bad news” situation; the good news is that our Sun provides light, heat and energy. The bad news is that the Sun will exhaust its hydrogen fuel within the next 5 billion years or so, causing it to grow to 250 times its current size and increase in brightness a thousand times over.

It goes without saying that the Sun’s personality change will render much of our technology obsolete, including sunscreen–regardless of spf rating. The Sun’s life change will produce hot flashes capable of melting any planet foolish enough to loiter closer than the orbit of Mars.

Unless we forestall the Sun’s transformation into a galactic bonfire, the Earth is destined to become an orbital version of a flaming marshmallow, slipping from its axis to be immolated by a morbidly obese Sun. It’s obvious, therefore, that efforts to “save the Earth” or “save the planet” are preempted by nature and our energies will be better spent figuring out how to migrate to a more youthful solar system.

Michael G Smith

Blunders, gaffes and boners, oh my!

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

Tragic Comic
Resume and cover letter mistakes can be comic or tragic:
comic if we learn from them, tragic if we don’t.

I won’t reject a candidate due to mistakes on their resume or cover letter, but most hiring managers are not as forgiving.
Some examples from which to learn:

“Early Retirement, The website for people who used to work for a living”
  Sounds good, except this site’s author applied for a full-time job.

“Thank you for inviting me to dialogue with you about any/all appropriate positions; I believe my experiences and skill sets closely match the position announcement.”
  Always have a trusted friend read your proposed cover letter in order to avoid a first line fiasco.

“The under mentioned are the highlights of the experience that I can offer.”
  Grammatically correct? I have no idea, but it reads like hell, and that’s why you should have someone read your cover letter.